Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 


Just for one more hello, I would give all the waters of the earth.

Just for one more smile, I would give all the lands of the earth,

Just for one more hug, I would give all the animals of the earth.

Just for one more kiss, I would give all the gold in the world.

Just for one more chance to lie with you, skin touching skin, and run my fingers through your hair, undress you, touch your thighs, hear you panting beneath me, kiss you passionately, and hold you tight, I would give every planet in the universe.

I love you.

I would pull my heart from within me to prove it, if you hadn't it already.

I love you so much.

Just to hear you say "I love you",  I would give my heart.
©2008-2009 ~failed-at-life
:iconfailed-at-life:

Author's Comments

The last word used to be life, but just before submitting I changed it to heart.

Meh not sure if it's effective :/

Again, another piece I don't like. It doesn't convey how I felt.

>.<

Comments


love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconthemusicain:
again, very well written. i think you convey the emotion to me, though that doesn't necessarily mean it conveys what you wanted :shrug: either way, nicely done :)

--
ignore my twitterings, i'm probably just trying to say how much i love your art :D
:iconj-hicks:
sorry but Ive got to be honest ;) i don't really like this one it seems emotional which is good and the starts ok but i was hooping for a change or something different at the end man :shrug: keep writing though ... :D its really hard , i wouldn't be able to show people what i would write ( mainly cause i cant spell :lol: )

--
my website- [link]
Every good painter paints what he is -Jackson Pollock
:iconfailed-at-life:
Nah its okay I like hearing what people think.
I really didn't like this one, It didn't come out the way I wanted it to >.<
But meh I'll keep writing xD

Thanks :heart:

--
:heart: if yew clickk there (: >> [link]
:iconfailed-at-life:
Thanks :heart:

--
:heart: if yew clickk there (: >> [link]
:iconj-hicks:
cool :thumbsup:

--
my website- [link]
Every good painter paints what he is -Jackson Pollock
:icondead-doormouse:
"I would pull my heart from within me to prove it, if you hadn't it already." I love that line, I read it and i didn't expect the end part, it's very effective.
"Just to hear you say "I love you", I would give my heart."

Maybe as you started with earth you could finish it with earth, you'd give your earth, everything you hold dear?

--
"Two hearts? Oh baby, I'm beating out a samba!" - David Tennant
:iconfailed-at-life:
Thanks. I personally dont like this one, its not at all the way i wanted it.
*grrr*

--
:heart: if yew clickk there (: >> [link]
:iconsomethinginspired:
It's good but I dunno, there is just something here that stands out to me. It's as though your... I really don't know how to put it. Good efforts though.
:iconfailed-at-life:
Yeah It could be a lot better, I dont like it. I might move it to scraps >.<

--
:heart: if yew clickk there (: >> [link]

Details

April 2, 2008
874 bytes

Statistics

9
1 [who?]
81 (0 today)
10 (0 today)

Site Map